February 09th, 2012

Marlene Joy Bennigsdorf 's Story

Birth Year: 1933




Table of Contents





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    Except for my children, I am alone in the world now with my small dog Charlie.

    My husband Robert is gone and it pains me so. I miss him!

    Charlie is my best friend. He is a small white dog that keeps me going. I walk him all the time and share him with the other women here where I live at The Retreat in Westminster, Colorado.

    I'm Marlene Joy Bennigsdorf and I was born on February 14th 1933 in the midst of the Depression in a small local Hospital. It was a small town where I grew up, so I don't believe there would have been a midwife there.

    Ida Grove, Iowa is where I grew up. It is about 55 miles east of Sioux City. It was just a little town in a farming area. We did not live on a farm but in town. It was so small you could almost call the town a farm. Today there is a boat lift factory there that makes lifts that they send all over the world. They employ a large part of the town and surrounding communities. I can't remember the name of the company now because I haven't really thought about it. There is a town called Dennison about 45 miles away to the south and many people there drive up to work at the factory. I remember the name Mid West Industries.

    When I go back home I still feel I'm at home there.†

    My mother's Name was Florence Wilcox and Lee Pintrey was my fathers name. I have two sisters Lee Anne Carlson and Betty Lou Craiger.

    My mother was a housewife and gardener. Everything we ate came from the garden. We had a large garden and she loved to work at that. She had flower gardens and vegetable gardens. You bet we did our share of canning.

    My dad worked for the Ford Motor Company in Ida Grove as a mechanic. The place he was employed was a garage, a place where you could bring in your car to have it fixed. They stayed open on Saturday nights just in case a farmer would come in that needed work done. Now every Saturday night every farmer in town would take their car to the garage if it needed to be tuned up. All the stores in town would stay open so the farmers and their wives could buy their groceries and do the things they had to do. My dad would come home at noon to eat lunch. After lunch he would drive the car down town and park it on Main Street. If we had been good girls, and this was right up until the age of 16, after our evening meal we would walk down town and sit in the car and watch the people. That was our night out on Saturday night. We would watch people as mom did her grocery shopping. She would get enough to get us through the week until the next Saturday.

    There were no large department stores where we lived. But we had something better. It was a 5 & 10 cent store. They also stayed open on Saturday nights so any of those people who lived out in the country and most of the people there did, could come in and buy their needles and thread or whatever they wanted to buy at the 5 & 10 cent store. Now I don't recall a regular soda fountain store in town. We could buy our ice cream cones. But I don't remember a place where you could go inside and sit down at a table and talk, you know.

    In time there was eventually a movie theater that came to town. If we were good girls mom and dad would give us money and we could go to the afternoon matinee. Boy mom was tough. One little step out of line and you didn't spend that money.

    Those depression days scared my mother. My mother, up until the day she died, could never enjoy spending even a penny. She had gardens big enough to feed 15 people instead of a little family like we were. She grew everything and canned it. She made all of our cloths even our underwear. Mom was always thrifty going through that period of time.

    After my father died my husband Robert and I were going to take a trip out to California. We were feeling a little sorry for my mom.

    So my husband said "Call your mom and tell her we will send her tickets to fly her out and take her with us."

    Oh she was so excited. So here she comes and we get her off the airplane and get her into the car that we were going to take and we took off towards the western slope. The first night out Bob went in and got the rooms for us. He and I were tired and we got her to her room and we had got to our room. We had no sooner gotten into bed and here she comes knocking on the door.

    She said "Bob, Bob hurry up come quick, come to my room!"

    He asked "what's the matter?"

    She said "there are two beds in my room. You shouldn't be paying for two beds. Come over and sleep in my room."

    He said "Mom you just forget it. I'm paying for it. You enjoy your room."

    Those depression years really did scar my mom.

    Now I was the oldest of the 3 and I couldn't get into trouble because my mom made me babysit those two sisters of mine. I had to hold their hands to make sure they didn't get into trouble. We are only separated by 5 and half years. My mom was spilling out babies like you wouldn't believe it. I had no brothers.

    My mom always made me come in the kitchen and stand on a chair and watch her bake cookies. I don't think I was even a year old when my mother had my fingers in the cookie dough. My Mom just loved to make cookies. She made just about every type of cookie in the world. But chocolate chip was her specialty. Now she baked everything and we girls had to bake whatever she was baking. So today if I would be at home I would still be baking cookies. I have been baking cookies almost to the day when my kids brought me to The Retreat. My one son Craig loved my butterscotch cookies so I was always making Butterscotch cookies for him. But my favorite is still chocolate chip.

    After my father died, Mom would make cookies around the holidays and the little town she lived in the people of the town would send her orders for the type of cookie they wanted. I guess it was around Thanksgiving she started making Christmas cookies.

    When I was young she would say, "Come on Marlene we're going to make some cookies."

    My father loved to fish and there was this lake called Spirit Lake. It was about 80 miles from home up on the Minnesota boarder. There was Marble Beach State Recreation Area there, and once in a while we would pack a picnic lunch and drive up to the lake. When we did that back then it was really a big deal! Generally it was just our family. But we would make a whole day of it.

    My mom had 3 brothers and every one of them was an outlaw. I don't mean holding up banks. But they were alcoholics and they would beat up their wives and children and my parents didn't want us exposed to any of that type of life style. They didn't want us to associate with my uncles, her brothers. My mom would go and pick up my cousins and bring them to our house to play. But we couldn't go to their house. So my parents didn't drink alcohol and it went back to her childhood with her brothers. We were more the, have some iced tea hop in the boat and go fishing kind of family.

    All of our activities were family related and/or church related.

    When I was a child we had school of course. You can bet we had to walk to school when I was a child. One of the activities we did was jump rope. I jumped so much rope I never wanted to see another jump rope again. There was one on one end and the other on the other end and the jumper in the middle. We did play some hop scotch. But mainly we just jumped rope.

    I didn't like the outdoors when I was young. We were girls and my mother made us act like girls. We did the chores which included doing the dishes every night after super. We had to take care of mowing the lawn. Its boys work, but we didn't have brothers to do all that sort of thing. We helped in the garden when we planted in the spring and also when she canned in the fall.

    My sisters and I were girls and I stood on a chair and helped mom bake cookies. Now my baby sister was the same way. But my middle sister Lee Ann was a tomboy, from the word go, and still is. I just found out that Lee Anne is fighting cancer and it kind of hurts. She went in a few weeks ago for a checkup and the doctor told her to get her affairs in order because your days are numbered. It brings to light that your years are numbered. This has been tough because my husband passed away just a few months before this of a heart attack. They were working on his cancer and all the things they were doing to help him caused his heart to give out.

    I went to Ida Grove High School where I carried a straight A average all my years of high school. One of my favorite subjects was history and also arithmetic. I did graduate in 1951. Even today, as I look back, history is still my hang up.

    A college had contacted me after I graduated and offered me a full 4 year scholarship to their school. But my dad wouldn't let me go because I was a girl.

    He figured "Girls get married so they don't make use of their education."

    After High School I was secretary to the superintendent of schools. It was after I graduated that the superintendent came and talked to me.

    He said "I am going to need a secretary and I understand you are not going to college."

    I said, "No, my dad won't let me go."

    He asked me why not and I told him what my dad said above. And so he said, "Marlene I'm going to need a secretary, How about you start Monday morning?"

    And so I took the job and worked for him. So right out of high school I had a job. As an adult I was working in Real Estate field working with company called Remax. I got my license to sell real estate in 1987. I guess I also put my love for numbers to use. I was very successful as a real estate agent over the years. I was working for a small company owned† my† a couple named Lang.† My husband said if you are going to put in these types of hours and energy I think you need to go with a bigger company. I told him I don't want to, I love this small company. I was working every day with the Langs. My husband said let's talk about it. I wound up going with Remax. One year I was the top agent in the whole United States. I have a plaque to thank me in 1998 for my success in supporting the dream.

    One of the things that made me successful was I liked people. Nothing made me happier. I wasn't working. It never felt like work! I would take people out and when I showed them the right house I could see them light up and I felt like I was just helping people get on with their life.† In fact my son is now a Realtor.

    If I was to tell someone how to get off on the right foot. I would say "Why don't you come down to the office and we will talk for a while. When they got there I would ask, what do you want in a home? What areas are important to you? How about your children? What schools do you want them in?"

    I would take notes and go through the whole thing and when we were done I would go to work. I would have 2-3 or 4 houses lined up. I would set the appointments and get to it. When someone had a listing for me I would list it and then work together as companies do to get it sold. I would not have a buyer for the listing so that is why realtors must work together.

    We had retired several years after my husband had the cancer diagnosed. I shut everything down and decided I was going to spend all of my time with him. In the day I loved my mortgage broker. Elaine Rebe was the one I worked with the most. She came to my husband's funeral. When the service was over I looked back into the isles of the church and saw her sitting there. Thank You Elaine!

    When my husband died the Lang's also came to the funeral.

    I have never forgotten after all these years how badly I wanted to go to college. Because History is my subject of choice I have searched my husband's family back as far as I can back to Berlin, Germany.

    I got over there and was looking up information when this lady I was working with said, "Marlene I just can't give you any more information.† Back in World War 2 when the Americans came marching in and took control of Berlin they burnt all of our records."

    She Said, "You probably have more than I do."

    I just love researching family history, geneology and this sort of thing. I traced my grandmother's family back to London, England when they came here; Oh so many years ago. This was on my mother's side of the family. I don't know where my father's family originates. I have an Uncle George who lives back in Sac City, Iowa. His daughter lives out here. His daughter, my cousin, is working on the family history and I intend to help her work on it some more.

    My Uncle George owns 16 banks out here in the Denver area alone and many more banks around in other areas. He was a self made man. He just got busy and went for it.

    Speaking of Uncle George and his bank ownership...

    My grandfather Pintrey was a dear man. When my grandmother died my parents took him in and gave him a home. He didn't like to live alone. He had lots of money and after he died the folks were cleaning out his dresser draws and discovered all these paid receipts from Uncle George. The man who owned all the banks would charge his father every time my grandfather would stay with him. My folks would say that's how he got his start, on Grandpa's money.

    I was very young during World War 2. I don't remember really anything about the war. I did have an uncle that served in the army. My husband had several cousins that were in the service and one of them was killed. His name was Carlson. And when you go back to that little town in Iowa and you go out to the cemetery. That cousin of Bobs has two Tomb stones. The small one his family put on and the other was placed there by the United States Government who placed the second on his grave. I would stand there and look up as high as I could to see the top of it. Why he got a tomb stone so large when everyone else got just a white cross I don't know. But it is still standing out there today at the Charter Oaks Cemetery in the town of Charter Oak 50 miles south of Ida Grove. A lot of Bobs cousins, aunts and uncles lived around there.

    I did not get my driver's license until I was almost eighteen. I wanted to get one when I was 15 but dad held me off until I was almost 18 then he would take me out driving. He would go out with me so we could drive together. But he would not let me take out the car and drive it on my own. I never owned a car until not too long ago. The town was so small you walked everywhere. Now when I got my first boy friend Bob he had a Plymouth and this car was neat. Pretty soon he said if you don't want to walk to work you can take my car. So I thought this was more serious and this was looking better all the time. †My dad was a Ford man. So every car they ever owned was a Ford. If it wasn't a Ford it wasn't good enough to buy. That was my dad's philosophy.

    I can tell you my dad wasn't happy that my boy friend had a Plymouth. Bob told my dad I have always wanted a Plymouth and I am going to have a Plymouth. So dad backed off. Because we were a family of girls, dad sort of adopted Bob as a son. They got along so well both loved to fish and loved to hunt.

    I didn't like boys as a girl. My mom and dad hired a hired man and he was "Good Looking!" That turned out to be my husband. He was the most handsome guy you ever saw. And I was married to him for a good many years. Now when you think about rural farm country my dad owned a corn sheller. So when the farmers would harvest their corn. My dad would go out with his sheller and take the kernels of the cobs. This was all done as they were harvesting out in the field. This was back before the machines they have today. But it was the beginning of an era. He would follow the cutters along and clean the cobs along the way. My father was getting to busy and so he found this young man who could help him.

    I was secretary at the school back then and at lunch I would walk home from the school and have some lunch. It gave me some breathing space.

    I walked home from school one day and mom greeted me at the door saying, "Marlene, Marlene"!

    Mom was so excited. She said, "Dad Hired a new hired man today. And you should see, he is tall, dark and handsome."

    I said, "Mom forget it. I going to eat my noon lunch and get back to work."

    She followed me out to the car when I was leaving and said."Marlene, you are coming home for supper tonight?"

    I said, "I suppose."

    "Ok then" she said, "I will see you."

    She had invited the hired hand for supper that night. That's how they got me married. My mother handpicked him for me. I think we were together about two years give or take, I don't know exactly, before we did get married. He was the only one for me.

    We were coming home from a drive in movie one night. And he looked at me and said, "Don't you think it's about time we got married? He said, we have spent a long time together and we are going to be good."

    My husband Robert Vergil came from a very big family of 10 kids. We got married in 1954 on Valentine's Day in a big wedding. You know we came from a small town and everybody in town knows you. If you don't invite them to your wedding they come anyway. My mother and dad paid for it. †My mom made all the bride's maid's dresses. My dad worked some extra Saturday nights to make more money to help.

    The holiday fell that year on Sunday and back then everyone got married on a Sunday. My mother saw that year Valentine's Day was on a Sunday and there was no turning her away.

    She told me "That's so romantic you have to get married on Valentine's day!"

    We were going to get married on that day no matter what I thought. It turned out to be the best day for it. My husband never forgot a Valentine's Day. He was the kindest, most loving man in the whole world.

    We moved away from home and rented a place for about a year and a half. Then we bought a house. It was a small house in Ida Grove. He was used to the big old farm houses having grown up with 10 kids and all. So it took some getting used to on his part.

    My husband had three cousins that were musical and could play by ear. They would play for dances. We were town's people so I don't recall going to any barn dances back then. But out in the country the farmers would take all the equipment and everything out of the barn sweep it out and make it clean. The band would come out and they would set up a platform for the band. I suppose it was big enough for the people to dance around but I was a kid and I don't remember that much about it. It was a big deal back then and my dad would call for square dancing.

    He would say "around and around and around you go, dossie dough and something else."

    He didn't teach me to square dance. I think this was his form of recreation because he had to work at the Ford garage Saturday nights and all. He did it for entertainment. He didn't do it for the money. He did it because it was fun!

    He went to the Lutheran Church and my family was very involved with the Church of God. I was 5 years old when a neighbor girl took me by the hand to church and that is what made my folks follow into the church. When Bob and I were going to get married we went to different denominations.

    So I asked Bob, "What are we going to do about church?"

    He said, "Oh there is no problem, I know your parents have been very active in the church and I have enjoyed attending church with you. My parents went to church hap hazardly."

    He said, "Your sisters and folks have been so active in your church, I'm going to go to your church."

    So we walked across the street to my church and we got married in my church. I don't think we were there 3 months and Bob was starting to serve on this council or serve on that.† It was like he had been in that church for 15 years. You know! There were times when Bob would step up into the pulpit and take over when the Minister was incapable of making the service on just a half a days notice.

    The last Minister that was in the church, was Pastor Stone. They were such good people and friends. I still hear from their children at Christmas time in a letter or note, with an update on Mom and Dad and what is going on. The Pastor is still preaching some but he is getting a lot older now. I think that is so neat! I even got a call from them immediately after they found out Bob had passed on.

    I have a minister today that comes to me to take me to church or I get an occasional phone call. I am still very much involved in the church. I love him, this new pastor. He loves to tell me about his family and what they are doing now. So now in the near future I will be able to attend every Sunday because the Minister has made arrangements for someone to come and pick me up. It has always disappointed me to miss the service.

    Before the kids came along Bob came home from work one day and said he was tired of working for my dad. He said the farmers had been asking him why he didn't have his own trucks. You're the one out here doing all the work. So he came home one day and said he had been truck shopping and he could get a truck. I am not talking about a little pickup or anything, but a truck.

    He said "I'm going to buy that."

    I have already talked with some farmers about buying their grain and 45-50 of them have already committed to me. They said if you buy the truck we will use you for hauling our corn. And so he did and immediately contacted the Pillsbury Company up in Minnesota and said I have all these farmers here that I can buy their grain and sell it to you. And there it went. My father was not mad at Bob. They loved Bob more than I did. They just really loved Bob. My father continued on for a while.†

    Bob was doing ok but then two years straight in a row they dried out. We just didn't get any rain. The farmers were losing their farms. It was a terrible time. So we came out to Colorado and it turned out to be a very good move. He was trying to get back to doing what he did in Iowa. He was hauling stuff for Pillsbury. So he went out to the rural areas and was buying beans and other produce. Then I decided to go into real estate.

    So he said, "how about I get my license and we do it together? I don't like you being out alone at night with people." So that's what we did. And he was a good realtor. He didn't like writing contracts or do the paperwork. But he was a people person. He dealt with people just like myself, They were our friends.

    My husband and I have 5 kids Craig, Cindy, Christie, Carrie and Joey. Everyone in my generation it seems have 5 kids. I believe it was the cold winters. We had two of them out here in Colorado.

    We always owned a boat and Bob would put that boat in the water and get out there and fish.† So when we started having children the boat began to carry water skis and all those kinds of things. I don't like water but I went along because it was them. I would just bring along a good book while they did their swimming and stuff. I would just get my book out and read it.

    We did take some family vacations. We have been to California several times for fun. We would do things that we enjoyed because the kids were older. So we would drive up and down the coast and drive through the wine country and we traveled up in the Dakotas to the Black Hills several times. Bob and I have traveled back east to the Carolinas. We would prowl around in cemeteries because I have some ancestors that lived there. See it is what I do. I love my family history.

    I remember we went to New York City back when they had the black people that were rioting. We were there for a month and a half and were going to go a tour bus first. We wanted to try to get to know the place before we were going to drive around. The tour guides would not let us off the tour bus without a man because the riots were so bad at that time. The things we saw were typical like we went to the top of the Empire State building and also the Statue of Liberty. We went through the tunnels and over the bridges, you name it we have just about done it all. But we did not make it to the Adirondacks. That was saved for another trip.

    When Bob got sick he said we are going to go and finish what we always wanted to do. But he didn't make it long enough. I don't know if I will ever do that trip now because I lost the fellow I loved to travel with.

    I will never be one of those people who remarry. I loved him so deeply I wouldn't even consider it. †We were married so many years that one of us would think it, then the other would say it. It was like reading each other's mind. There was a popular song out some years back "One day at a time dear Jesus, One day at a time..." Now that is how I live one day at a time.

    I have a little dog that I love Charlie is his name and that is the man in my life now. So that is my life story. And with the lord in my life, I am going to make it! I am really trying to overcome that empty feeling.

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